• Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
  • Me: Oh ok cool
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: This is a febreze commercial right
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh

relahvant:

when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it

image

image

(via asvprock)

alicemurphys:

duhmayo:

baruchobramowitz:

"Hello Professor,

I am doing my best to make this email sound adult. I have rewritten it sixteen, wait… seventeen, times. I am requesting assistance.

Thank you,
Student”

"Student,

ok

-bill”

yo seriously

(via fiercedeception)

wet-monsoon:

oktober2nd:

lana-loves-lingua-latina:

if “barnacles” is a curse word in Spongebob, then how do you explain Barnacle Boy’s name

He’s a fuck boy

image

(via whyamigawking)